“I can’t do this” she whispered, “I’m sorry” her fingers slipped out of my hold as she turned away. My eyes blurred as tears cloud my vision, washing away the picture created in my mind as I take in the reality. The reality where I was standing all alone, a reality that makes my heart bleed out. I knew this was coming, I always knew she would refuse- not because she didn’t like me but she feared our future and our families. If only I could convince her, make her realise, I was ready to fight the world for her and with her. All I could do was put up a flawless facade masking my inner turmoil and despair, with a smile plastered I walked back to the car determined to not let my emotions be surfaced. As I sat stealing glances at my neighbour, so close yet distant. We drove silently, I could feel her gaze on me, but could not gather the strength to face her. For all I knew, if I did I would be lost in her orbs. We came to a halt as we reached our, no her destination. I was hoping she would speak before she leaves me with a cyclone erupting. I look at her, only to see her wiping her tears, it tore my heart in pieces, losing that last string of control- I pulled her to me, engulfing her in my embrace. To my surprise she didn’t resist, nor did she respond, I could hear her sob. It was melancholic and serene altogether, this new feeling of sharing my pain with her without expecting her to absorb and console, but enjoying how we stand together. How I wished the moment to last forever. Placing a feathery kiss on her forehead, cupping her face wiping the tears, “I love you” it just happen to slip, regretting it a moment later as I notice a streak of guilt in her eyes. The moment of silence that followed, as we drowned into the sea of emotions. “I’m sorry”, was all she whispered as our foreheads touched. I wanted to say so much at the say time I wanted to seek solace in her embrace, but every nerve fibre within me abandoned itself. It felt like angels deserted me and devils vanquished my sane soul. Hearing the sound of the door close as she disappeared, it felt like my heart is sagging down into an empty pit of darkness.
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